Lycra – and Pretzsch

When I knocked on the Sleeps’ door this morning, it was opened by Dwayne, resplendent in his lycra cycling knicks. “Oh Gawd,” I muttered.

“It’s like packing ten pounds of sausages into a five-pound bag,” he said, prancing around the room. 

I averted my eyes. 

Linda had sent me a warning message, but I had had my phone on aeroplane mode. 

Linda’s warning arrived too late.

Despite this distressing start to the day, we were all happy at the prospect of our first proper cycling stage, for want of a better word.

Starting out in Wittenberg…  …with lycra  …and my superbike

It was distinctly damp as we set off, but our rain protection served us well and the landscapes, the villages and the beautiful gardens made up for the discomfort. That is, except for our bottoms, which felt decidedly tender as we bumped over the cobblestones. 

An inviting pension along the way A garden in Elster
Yet another garden Sheep – completely unfazed by our presence

Nevertheless, we arrived in Pretzsch intact, with only one oversight: we had accidentally left our accommodation and luggage transfer vouchers in Wittenberg. 

Solving this problem could be even more difficult than looking at Dwayne in lycra.

Final Notes:

Positive aspects of Germany continued: The Elbe Radweg – This bike path runs for hundreds of kilometres along the Elbe River.

Hotel in Pretzsch: Parkhotel – large and adequate without being charming. Trabis parked out the back. The kind, overworked woman at reception dealt with our voucher problem with patience and aplomb.

Pretzsch itself: Disturbingly like a ghost town, but our hotel was hopping with two functions.

Problem solved: The kind people at the Parkhotel organised a taxi to bring over all our documents and vouchers from Wittenberg. Thank goodness.

One more disturbing issue: Upon our arrival, Dwayne realised that he hadn’t packed any jocks in his pannier. Since our luggage hadn’t arrived at that stage, he had to don his shorts and let his 5 pounds of sausages (sorry, 10) swing in the breeze. Aagh.

Wittenberg: Varying Dreams

The legendary church door…

We came to Wittenberg with different ambitions.

Davey hoped that his meticulous organisation of our bike tour would turn out exactly as he had planned.

I wanted to encounter some history firsthand and hear it, if possible, in German.

Linda’s aim was to watch the Cats versus the Tigers.

Dwayne mainly wanted to drink German beer, eat a lot of meat and tease me mercilessly.

We all fulfilled our aims. but there were a few twists along the way.

Hundertwasserschule

Davey’s Aim: Although Augustus Tours, our bicycle provider, had managed every aspect of the tour with the utmost care, the hotel staff didn’t entirely understand our requests in English. We realised that we needed to find out if the bikes had been delivered and enquire after the materials that we had been promised by our tour operators. For once, my attempts at communication in German turned out to be quite useful, because after I had explained the situation, the young man at reception located both our bikes and, later in the day, the posted packet of information that was missing. Relieved and excited by our new freedom of movement, we went for a short ride to the Hundertwasserschule, during which I discovered that the extra electric oomph of my bike makes me feel like a superwoman. 

Luther by Cranach

My Aim: The Lutherhaus Museum was interesting without being inspiring. While I enjoyed the German audio tour on the whole, I was disappointed by the lack of imagination shown in the Museum Shop. On the other hand, judging from some of the kitsch souvenirs available in the town, perhaps it was just as well that the Museum’s offerings were rather sparse. One magnet in a particularly unattractive shop, instead of providing the standard translation of Luther’s words, “A mighty fortress is our God”, displayed the sentence: “A firm castle is our God”. I pictured God doing pushups or showing off his six-pack.

Linda’s Aim: Although Linda did indeed get to see the football game, the Tigers outplayed the Cats in the last quarter and she was sufficiently cast down to seek retail therapy immediately afterwards.

Dwayne’s Aims: Dwayne fulfilled all his hopes, which, as he would say, is the main thing.

Final Notes

Our hotel: Best Western, perfectly adequate but somehow not as homely and pleasant as the Concorde in Frankfurt. No brothels in the neighbourhood though, which is a plus.

Additions to our list of Germany’s most impressive aspects: Widespread bike infrastructure; courtesy of drivers towards cyclists

Heard around the traps: Dwayne to Davey: “I have some good news. The shops are shutting.”